Friday, August 26, 2011

Happy Friday!

What is this??

Could this be the new costume in toy form? Or just some kind of bizarre Japanese variation on the TDK suit... Kind of interesting...especially considering the reinforced neck...

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Lava fury!!!!

This is cool:

This is not cool:

Lava Fury Batman. Hmm... don't ever recall any such situation (movies, cartoon, comics, life) in which Batman donned his "Lava Fury" costume. These action figures pissed me off as a kid.

Did they do some sort of market research and found out kids like to play with action figures that exist in no other entity other than the form of a four inch-neon colored, stupid-looking version of their beloved superhero? I always just wanted a Batman action figure that just looked like Batman!

Unfortunately they stopped making the awesome figures you see on top right around the time the first Batman movie came out. What was weird was when they repackaged the old Joker figure into new packaging in line for the 1989 Batman movie. Shit made no sense! He came with a mallet and looked like Caeser Romero, not Jack Nicholson!

Still, a very cool figure. But you could probably only get Night-Goggle Scuba Diving Joker after this one came out.


Real Two Face!

There is a real Two-Face! This guy went to jail for a double murder, he's a drug gang killer and his street name was Two-Face! WTF?

Alex Ross's Batman is A Fat-ass

I love ya Alex Ross, you capture in your works a quiet reverence for these modern-day myths we call Super-heros. One complaint: YOU DRAW BATMAN AS A FATASS. Now, I'm used to Superman being rendered as a bullet-headed bloat-bag, but come on! This Batman looks like he should be fixing my sink, not pummeling villains. Seriously look at that jaw! Apparently Joey Buttafuco serves as the model for Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman. Seriously have you seen Ross's Wonder Woman? Built like a brick shit-house, she is, and a mug that will have you hanging yourself with an invisible lasso. Seriously Alex, chill on the meatiness when it comes to our beloved characters.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Sunday, August 21, 2011


The Bat Signal is not a beeper

Batman like roofs

 Batman like roofs real good

Cafeteria dayz

I had my mom buy this lunchbox for me when I was in the fourth grade. I didn't realize till I showed up with it at school that I was way too old to be walking around with a fucking plastic lunchbox. Let alone a plastic Batman lunchbox. Fucking embarrassing...

Clock King

Whatta chump.

False Face

via Wikipedia:
"Although Clint Eastwood was discussed for the role of Two-Face in the 1960s Batman television series, reimagined as a news anchor who was disfigured when a television set exploded in his face,[22] he did not appear, as the character was labeled "too gruesome and too violent" for the "kid-friendly" attitude that surrounded the show. Malachi Throne's portrayal of False-Face appeared in the series for a substitution."

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

what. the. shit.

I've felt rage before, but this... this could possibly induce genocide.

Jesus Christ...

I pity the kid whose mom bought this poster for him at Target.

fucking bullshit.

Sweet mother of god...

Dat ASS!


still from the new "Batman" stage show...


The Odd Couple

What the fuck were Warner Bros. thinking when they released this shot? Imagine if Ledger's Joker and Bale's Batman were posed in an image like this before TDK... The backlash would have been horrendous... They would have cancelled the movie and executed Chris Nolan. For all you little fucking worms who complain about the way Catwoman looks in the new movie, look how bad shit could be... We are very very lucky as Batman fans, to have someone like Nolan in charge. For the record I love Batman 89 as much as anything ever, but this picture is the epitome of douche-chills. I would have a "come up with a crazy caption" contest but a) I hate those and b) I don't have anything to give anyone.

If you don't like Bale's voice as Batman....

You can seriously FUCK OFF. I don't care who you are. Don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't come to this blog. In fact, you should die a horrible death. Well, okay maybe that's a little harsh... but then again, not really. Chances are, you will die a horrible death. I mean do you really think you are going to 'pass away' peacefully in the night? Doubtful. You will probably be torn asunder in a horrible car-crash, or die of unbearable ass-cancer. It sucks, but thems the breaks. Life is pretty fucking tough, but caring about how you will die is pointless. It will probably hurt. It will probably suck. You will probably, at some point, say to yourself "I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING DIE!!!" but as I said, life ain't a picnic. No reason to cry about it.

Back to Bale's voice: It's intimidating, animalistic, brutal and thuggish, ALL of which adds to the persona of Batman. It also disguises his voice so no one recognizes Bruce...You know what? I don't need to fucking explain this, if you don't like his voice, you have no vision. You are artistically bankrupt. Go fuck yourself.


Batman simply can't have a mustache. I am not saying this because I have anything against mustaches, though any honest hard working human being should, but its not practical for maintaining one's anonymity. If Bruce Wayne and Batman have identical handlebar mustaches, well...people will talk.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


The Gomezler

Shaw-- I mean Marlon Wayans as Robin


Joker Makeup Test

This is very interesting. I remember when this "leaked" in '07 and it looked pretty legit. It still looks pretty badass and not like a fan mock up. I've seen some stupid ones. I think I could've lived with this interpretation, except this is clearly not the sloppy-looking psychopath we actually ended up getting. This is a much more composed Joker. Still kinda punk looking.

I like it.

I don't find this funny...

 in the least.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Batman: Arkham City concept art

Last November I had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled out, and as a gift to myself I bought Batman: Arkham Asylum for Xbox 360 so that I had something mindless to do while I recovered. Let me tell you this: taking vicodin and playing this trippy ass game was fucking great.

The sequel, Arkham City, comes out shortly. Above is the concept art. I'm not really a gamer unless I want to be, but I guarantee you I will play this game a lot when it comes out.


I remember first seeing Batman Returns as a kid and was perplexed by how much it just looked like a pillow stuffed in his pajamas. So stupid

robin sucks


colin's bedroom


Guarantee you this is the eleventh take of him grabbing his stupid sister

batman is a fucking asshole


fuck this guy.


Joker in the Arkham Aslyum graphic novel

If you haven't read this book, you're missing out on one of the coolest (and most disturbing) interpretations of the Batman rogues gallery.

Just look at the red around Joker's eyes and his tiny little pupils. Chilling.


No, not really. These shitty Tiger games were really bad, and annoying, and impossible to play for more than five minutes.

Fuck you Penguin.

I bet this kid is dead by now

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

From the IMDB Dark Knight Rises Message Board:

"Batman is Real! A Study of Quantum Mechanics

by DoctorArthurFielding

Dear IMDB,

Allow me to introduce myself! I am Doctor Arthur Fielding, Astrophysicist and Quantum theoretician. I received my PhD in astrophysics from Columbia University in 1982, and now run a small laboratory where I conduct quantum research with my graduate students.

Why am I telling you this? Well, when I was a boy, I greatly enjoyed reading fantasy stories, science fiction novels, and especially comic books. My favorite comic hero was Batman. I was so captivated by The Dark Knight that I remained convinced until late in my youth that Batman was NOT a fictional character, but a real person. I simply could not fathom that such a dynamic, gritty, wonderful character could be make-believe, and I KNEW that Bruce Wayne must be out there somewhere, fighting crime...

Of course, as I grew older, I began let go of this childish belief. That is, until college, when I first came across quantum theory and was exposed to the many-worlds theory (also called infinite-worlds theory), which states (in layman's terms) that for every event in human history where there is a thinkable alternate outcome, there is a universe in which that outcome has taken place. My young college mind was blown away by this information. Batman was a thinkable concept! There could, indeed, be a universe that contains a real-life batman! My mind reeled, and my dream began; SOMEDAY, I would prove Batman's existence.

I am happy to say that I have succeeded. My machine, codenamed "The One Ring", is a supercomputer that analyzes the quantum signatures of a simple light ray (each ray of light contains billions) and is able to isolate each one and depict it's source. After months of trying, (remember, I have literally trillions of universes to sift through), I have finally several "Batman" universes. I have worked out a way to enter said universe.

One month from today, myself and a team of my students intend to enter one of said universes in the hope that we can bring back The Batman, to share with all my fellow Batman fans. The Dark Knight will truly live.

Please keep in mind that this project is TOP SECRET, and I am only sharing it with you (rest assured, I have left out some crucial details and changed some facts about myself) because of our shared Batman-love. Consider yourselves privileged.


Doctor Arthur Fielding, PhD."